Monday crept past again

My initial idea was to post something every Monday,  but as you all can see and for those who actually know me, I'm not very good at doing things on a regular basis especially things which include me writing down what I think and feel. 

On the other hand I really enjoy writing stuff, especially for my blog. It helps me calm down. If I could just write down everything I'm thinking and feeling instantly and all the time, my life would be somewhat more peaceful I think. At least my mind would be I guess.

You see, My thoughts tend to wonder off quite often. My upper chamber isn't still for long. I suppose that's both good and bad. 

Isn't it amazing how many different things a person can feel like at the same time? 

As Hermione once very nicely quoted to Ron; “Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have.” 

I admire my hart for everything it has had to put up with, she keeps surviving and keeping me alive even when I thought I wouldn't anymore. To be honest, she didn't really make things easier for me either. Especially when I, for once in my life, tried to follow my hart and that my brains just went "Nope, you foolish girl. You will regret that" and the worst part? My brains get their way, way to often.  The same in visa versa of course. 

But hey, I'm still here. Alive and kicking (!) and, I might add, preparing for possibly the greatest adventure of my life!

today is a good day, talk to you soon

Lots of love 

Lizzie xoxo

Shit just about to get real

Life gets so strange sometimes, the other day I was driving through the rain on my motorcycle and I felt so alive. 

So real and so present in this world. I was singing in the rain to myself, virtually screaming over the harsh blows of wind and felt the rain beating down hard on my hands and body. I was singing, crying and laughing, I just simply couldn't help myself from laughing out loud. People must have thought I was some kind of crazy person, but I didn't mind. Who cares if I'm shouting and laughing and singing in the rain on a dark stormy Thursday evening? That's right nobody, well at least I don't. 

It made me feel good so I didn't see any wrong in screaming and shouting my head off, just because I felt like it. 

Ever had that beautiful feeling? The feeling that you could just scream and shout and cry and laugh until you were tired of it all and went to bed. Lovely feeling when you lay down completely empty of any feeling. 

Personally, I need to do this quite often. More often than that should be needed actually... 

It's just that I have this Thing, this Thing to not show my feelings to make (or keep) others happy. I often catch myself on turning my own feelings into something else. 

But than, sometimes I overload and than everything has to come out and so it does. In very different ways I might ad. 

I guess those moments make me feel so alive because that is the moment when I just AM alive and really me. Not me in disguise to do good for somebody else, which I always tend to do. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a pushover, I'll always say what and how I think about things but just not when it's about peoples feelings or any feelings in general actually. 

Maybe I'll be able to start over somehow in Australia, I hope so ... 

In any case I hope to find myself for a bit far far away from anyone and anything I know, I believe I can because all the troubles that seem to keep cropping up here which make me pretend my feelings won't be there, or less at the least. Life will get better, I promised myself.

My great down under adventure is getting pretty real at the moment. My flight has been booked for the 29th of October. This huge backpack is sitting ready in my room, ready to be filled with 7 months worth of my possessions, staring at me ready to leave. And I'm so ready to fill it up and leave. Wonderful, the thrills of travelling.

Lots of love,

xoxo Lizzie 

Preparations

Visa application has been submitted payed and accepted!
Flight has nearly been booked.
The greatest preparations are nearly done, but there is still so much needed to be done.

Let do this!
xoxo liza

Choices to make

In life everyone will come to a point where decisions need to made. 

This summer (2014) I came to that point. 

After graduating from high school at the end of June I came to the conclusion that I actually had no idea what so ever what I wanted to study. Choosing a study field isn't just a choice you make for the next 3 years (or so), it's a choice you make that will form the rest of your life. When this though hit me I became more and more sceptical about my choice of studying animal care in Gent. How do I know (that is, how can anyone know), at the age of 18, what they want to do or be in life. I seem to fail grasping the idea that someone so young and unexperienced can know what he of she want to do in life for the rest of their life.

People make choices everyday in life every minute of it, knowing or unknowing. So many people my age had to make the same decision at the same time as me, how can it be that it seemed only to me such a difficult one? So difficult that I ended up not making it at all. Many may think that I'm running away from it, but I'm not. Well, perhaps in some way I am, but I believe that the decision I made is the right one for me at this time. And besides I'm not running away from studying, I'm just making sure that the decision I wil make (next year probably) is one I feel peaceful with.

So, after postponing my study choice for quite some time I started thinking of possibility's, other than studying, which I could do. Thanks to an important person in my life I found the site Helpx.com. On this site I found a horse stud farm who need trainers to ride horses on a daily base, I fell in love with the whole idea immediately. I sent them an email, got response and that was the launch of my great Australian adventure. 

As you may or may not know my greatest passions in life are horses and travelling. By going to Australia I believe I can enrich both these passions. 

Via this blog I wil try my very best to keep those I left behind posted on my great adventure.

So excited already!

Lots of love 

Liza xo