Wednesday 29 October 2014

Take off

I’ve taken off in Düsseldorf to the first of my greatest adventures in life.
It’s was raining and cloudy, super sad weather in other words in Düsseldorf. It wouldn’t be any better in London but it will be in Singapore and in Australia, I’m sure.
Any way up up high in the sky the weather is great; floating peacefully on a great cloud carpet everything seems all right.

My middle sister mom and dad brought me to the airport this afternoon but it already seems days ago. I absolutely love those travel butterflies!
While proceeding through baggage check, duty-free and eventually my gate I started to wander why I wanted to leave so bad. Because I did want to leave, I wanted to leave as soon as possible and go as far as possible. The first didn’t really go to plan but I’m gone so that isn’t an issue anymore and the later of going as far as possible I think I did quite a good job. I could have gone to New Zealand but I’m glad I chose Australia in the end. New Zealand is on my list so won’t be forgotten.

I had to do this now, having no clue what so ever about my further life and having just graduating high school this really is the perfect moment. I though that by the end of last year at high school I would have found myself somewhere somehow well that came out different…
Just a month and a half before my end exams I ended up in hospital with a major concussion due to a lovely young horse that rather throw me of and run of to the stables than nicely asking me to get off. Any way with that concussion I needed a months worth of rest at home meaning no school, no nothing but my bed and the dark.
My head was a mess.
The concussion did more to me than only shake my brains I think. I was so confused I had no idea what so ever what to do with my life.  I was possibly sure that I would fail my end exams (which I didn’t) that I had no friends (which I have, the best of friends) everything was coming down on me hard. 
It took me a while and it wasn’t easy what so ever but I pulled myself out of the ditch and walked away from it by the time I graduated. It were hard times but I’m glad I got through them (with success, I might ad).

So then after graduation the summer vacation started. Although I made it out of the worst of the ditch I still had no idea what I wanted to do with my life let alone what I wanted to do in college. After a summer of postponing (which I’m getting really good at) it was September all of a sudden and I HAD to make a choice. After some more postponing I came up with the idea of going abroad.
Going abroad is something I’ve always wanted to do, something I always needed to do for myself. But after graduating I though I had it together enough to move on like ‘normal’ students do. Guess not.

All this takes me to where I’m now. Up high above the clouds in a plane on my way to Australia (eventually).

I don’t really have that much expectations of Australia in itself, my plan is to just let it all happen to me and I’ll see where it gets me. However I do have tons of expectations of myself. The main reason I’m doing this all, after all, is to find myself and above all to be at peace with myself and everything at comes with that.

I travel the world hoping to find what I search. 

Greetings from London Heathrow !
Lizzie xoxo

Monday 13 October 2014

Bits & pieces

Yay monday!

Bits and pieces have always made up my life, I'm quite a chaotic person you see. 
I learned to live with this constant chaos in my head, which is fine by me. I understand it most of the time and that's what I'm aiming for I guess. I've even grown to like the chaos in my head. I've never really known a complete structured life nor anything near that.
But even for me, it gets a bit too much sometimes. This often occurs on bad days...
I've had bad days in life, I've had good day great days possibly even some of the best days in my life. But I've had my fare share of bad days too.
Bad days on which I would sink lower than the ground. I've had days where I wished I could just lay myself on bed for a nap, hoping I wouldn't have to wake up to live my life further.
Thank God I did wake up, although I say that now I didn't say it back than. I tried to put an end to my problems, even in the most gruesome of ways. I'm not proud of it nor do I regret it.
I am proud of where I am now. I've been through things in life which not every teenage girl has went through in her years as a teenage. Growing up does most certainly do strange things to a person. You don't realise it at the time, but there will come a time when it's all over when you'll be able to just look back at it all, glad it's all over. Every wound leaves it's traces, each in their own way.
I grew up in 5 houses in 4 cities over 3 countries, I guess that did left a trace on me to. Now I will broaden my horizon somewhat further and hopefully Australia will help me through this stage of my life so that, one day, I will be able to look back at this part to be at peace with it and just smile. Glad that it's all over.

It made me to what I am now, and quite frankly I'm proud of it. 

Lots of love
xoxo Lizzie

If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?
- Alice, Alice in Wonderland 

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